16 messages written for mentors specifically, across 4 tones. Every one is ready to copy as it stands, or to adapt.
← All welcome to the team messagesArchive started 22 August 2026 · last updated 22 August 2026
“Welcome. I am your assigned mentor, which sounds more formal than it will be in practice. My only real advice for the first month is to write down every question you are slightly embarrassed to ask, and then ask me all of them at once.”
“I am your assigned mentor, which mostly means I am the person you can ask things without it going on any record. Save up the questions you feel silly asking. Those are the useful ones.”
“Welcome aboard. The onboarding covers systems and process; I am here for the other half, which is how things actually get done and who to ask when the official answer does not work.”
“Welcome. One thing worth saying in week one: if something we do looks wrong to you, say so while you can still see it clearly. In six months you will have stopped noticing.”
“Welcome. I have been assigned as your first point of contact, which usually means an introductory coffee and then silence, so let me be more specific. Message me with anything at all for the first three months, including the things you would rather not ask in a meeting. That is the entire job and I am glad to do it.”
“Welcome. I am your assigned buddy, which usually means one coffee and then silence, so let me be more specific. Message me about anything for three months, including the things you would rather not ask in a meeting.”
“Welcome. If you need something from another team and you are not getting anywhere, say that I asked. It should not work that way and it does, and there is no reason you should spend your first month finding that out.”
“Welcome. Coming into this field from somewhere else means you will spend a few months feeling behind on the vocabulary while being ahead on the judgement. The vocabulary is the easy half and it arrives on its own.”
“Welcome. I am your buddy for the first few months. No question is too small, and most of mine were not either.”
“Welcome. I joined eight months ago, so I still remember which bits are confusing. Ask me the awkward ones.”
“Welcome. Half an hour is in your calendar for Thursday. Bring anything, or nothing at all.”
“Welcome to the organization. I have been asked to act as your mentor during your first months and am glad to. I suggest we meet weekly at first, and less often as you find your footing.”
“Welcome. I have been assigned as your first point of contact, and the offer is genuine rather than procedural.”
“Welcome to the organization. I have been asked to mentor you, which in practice means a standing half hour every fortnight that is yours to use however you like. Bring problems, or bring nothing. Both are a legitimate use of it.”
“Welcome to the profession as well as to the company. The first year is mostly about learning how the work is actually done rather than how it is described, and everybody sensible found that gap unsettling at the start.”
“Welcome. I have been assigned to help you settle in, which mainly involves translating acronyms. There are more than you are expecting and at least two mean the same thing. Ask me anything.”
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