13 messages written for family specifically, across 3 tones. Every one is ready to copy as it stands, or to adapt.
← All newborn wishesArchive started 22 August 2026 · last updated 22 August 2026
“Congratulations, both of you. Watching you become parents has been its own kind of pleasure, quite separate from meeting this small person. We are on the end of the phone at any hour you like.”
“Congratulations to you both. We are not expecting to hear from you for a while and that is entirely right. When you want food, company or someone to hold the baby while you shower, say the word.”
“There are four generations of us now, which is not something many families get to say out loud. Congratulations to you both. Bring them to see us whenever you are able, and not before.”
“Congratulations to you both. The offer, which is entirely serious, is that we take a night whenever you want one. No notice required and no explanation expected.”
“One more of us, and already the most important. Congratulations, both of you.”
“We have been waiting a long time to meet this one and we intend to be as useful and as little in the way as we can manage, which may take some practice. Congratulations to you both. You are going to be very good at this, and on the days when it does not feel that way, ring us.”
“Congratulations to you both, and please consider this my formal application for the role of the relative who is fun and slightly irresponsible. I will be excellent at it in about four years. Until then I am available for anything practical and I mean that literally, including at unreasonable hours.”
“A new one in the family, and already thoroughly welcome. We cannot wait to meet them properly.”
“Welcome to the newest one. Congratulations to you both, and get some sleep.”
“Congratulations. I intend to be the relative who teaches this child things you would rather they did not know. Starting in about four years. Thrilled for you both.”
“Congratulations on number two. Spare a thought for the first one, who is about to discover they are no longer the entire point of everything. Delighted for all of you.”
“Congratulations. Early reports suggest the nose is yours and the volume is definitely from the other side. Wonderful news, every part of it.”
“Congratulations. Be warned that certain relatives are about to become completely insufferable about this, and I include myself in that without apology.”
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